The Case of the Vanishing Facebook Friend


Relationships, Social Life / Sunday, August 20th, 2023

Well, isn’t life just chock-full of surprises? There I was, sipping my morning coffee, swiping through an endless sea of memes, when my phone pinged with a notification. A text from “Clair-RememberThatOneTimeSheUnfriendedYou?” – a name I had apparently saved in a bout of pettiness three years ago.

I blinked, not once, but thrice. Clair? THE Clair? She, who vanished from my Facebook friends list without so much as a digital whisper? The very one who left me inspecting all our past interactions like a wannabe Sherlock, looking for the moment when I might have crossed some unfathomable line? Yup, that Clair.

“Hey! Long time! How have you been?” read her chirpy message. Oh, you know, Clair, just spending the occasional moment over the past three years wondering why my delightful dog videos and impeccable taste in memes weren’t gracing your feed anymore. But, I digress.

My fingers hovered over the keypad. Do I go the cool and collected route? Perhaps a sassy reply? Or maybe just send back a passive-aggressive thumbs-up? Oh, the choices!

In the end, my mother’s age-old advice about always being the bigger person resurfaced. So, pushing down the mild confusion, inflated ego, and that tiny pinch of residual drama, I typed back: “Hey Clair! It really has been a while. I’m doing well, thanks. How about you?”

But as the conversation carried on, I couldn’t help but think that life’s funniest moments are its most unexpected. Maybe Clair had an epiphany about long-lost connections. Maybe she’s going through her own personal ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ journey. Or, maybe she just ran out of memes and remembered my gold mine.

Whatever the reason, as I updated her on the latest benign happenings of my life (sprinkled with a dash of exaggeration, because why not?), I remembered that friendships, like fashion, can be cyclical. What’s out of style today could very well be the rage tomorrow.

And hey, if all else fails, I’ve got a new story to share at parties – about the mysterious case of Clair and the vanishing act on Facebook. It’s bound to be a hit, right?