So, my dear readers, you know the age-old saying: “Two’s company, three’s a crowd.” But, have you ever considered the thrill of a party of one, particularly in the realm of the humble, yet sacred bed? Let me pitch you the tantalizing tale of singledom and the splendors of having a bed all to oneself. No, it’s not just a solitaire slumber party; it’s an exercise in self-love and unabashed bed hogging.

Being single and owning a bed is like being the queen of your plush, cottony kingdom. No knight in shining armor required, thank you very much. You see, the bed, it’s all mine. And boy, do I roll in it! Left, right, diagonal, starfish pose – you name it. The freedom to flop around in bed without the fear of elbowing someone in the face is a feeling of liberation that’s hard to beat.

While some might fear the dreaded ‘cold side’ of the bed, I’ve come to embrace it. It’s a thrilling nighttime adventure, a chilling escapade if you will. A cheeky toe nudge against the cool sheets? Absolute bliss, my friends, pure, undiluted bliss!

Let’s not forget the autonomy over blankets. Are you a burrito-wrapper, a leg-out-the-side kind of person, or an “I’ll just kick this off in the middle of the night” nonconformist? Well, as a proud ambassador of singlesville, I can confirm – the choice is all yours! No tug-o-war, no shivering in the cold while your bedmate hogs the covers. You, my friend, are the master of your duvet domain.

Then there’s the absolute joy of unadulterated, undisturbed beauty sleep. No thunderous snoring to compete with your dreams of Ryan Reynolds. No accidental midnight jabs, courtesy of an errant limb. And absolutely no half-asleep mumbles about work presentations or the score of last night’s game.

And, dare I say it, the biggest joy of having a bed to yourself – a judgment-free zone. Breakfast in bed with a side of Netflix binge? Absolutely! Midnight snack sneak-ins? Bring on the popcorn! Spend all day in bed, rolling around like a happy hamster in sawdust? You betcha!

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m sure sharing a bed has its moments – the cuddles, the pillow talk, the warmth of another human being. It’s lovely, truly. But in the meanwhile, for us merry members of the single brigade, the bed is our playground, our fortress, our comfort zone.

So here’s to the single life, where rolling in bed is an all-day event, and the only sleep disturbance is the occasional laugh at your own jokes. It’s a grand old time, my friends. Long live the reign of the one-person sleep sprawl!